My doctor is transitioning me from L to V.
Thank all the fucking heavens!!
I have to take L at night and with a decent amount of food. There are some nights where I forget to take it after I eat and I end up having to eat 2-4 night times until I finally remember to take it.
It's been super triggering over the last 7 months to be on a medication that forces me to eat, and then if I don't eat enough, I'm punished by the medicine gods with VIOLENT throw up attacks. THEY'RE AWFUL.
So to recap, hate L because:
I get triggered over not being able to decide when enough food is enough
When I don't eat enough, violent throwing up, which triggers me back into abusive relationships where a healthy weight for me was looked at as fat and obese.
Because I threw up what I would binge as a teenager. And then when my husband and I got married, the binging continued but I know longer had the bulimia outlet because I was always with my husband. I could never get alone long enough to make myself throw up and then I grew out of the habit.
Reinforces binge eating habits
Oh, and it doesn't work as well as V (for me, I’d never speak to how someone else could experience L)
okay... so here's my secret...
As I've been transitioning back to V, and having to take both medications, I've been throwing away my L...
I know there are mental, emotional, and physical reasons to take the L until I'm officially off. But I can't do it anymore. I can't be triggered on top of having all my coping mechanisms taken away (long story, fam) and having to find new ones.
It's too much.
I'm making an adult decision for myself to advocate for a better life experience while still being in this (stupid fucking) episode.
Too much. Can't do it all, and I can't be asked to do it all.
Anyone else go through these kinds of “growing pains” with medication?
Comments